November 7, 2013
Flamez Grill
701 Sonoma Mountain Parkway, Petaluma, CA
http://www.restaurant.com/flamez-petaluma-pid=57888
Review date: November 2013

We made a day trip to Sonoma, where Carlos had lunch with a friend, and I drove a long mile east to Flamez Grill for a solo burger. I'd been toying with the idea of a quesadilla, but a Chowhound discussion thread on burgers seduced me into searching Google for a good burger place that wasn't in the downtown area.

Petaluma is a suburban town, so it has a full complement of chain restaurants and sports bars. This not being a foodie destination, it's safest to stay with good 'ole American food. We loved Le Bistro, a true Continental bistro that is rarely found anywhere, let alone in Petaluma; but they're only open for dinner, not lunch. Flamez rated pretty well on Yelp, and the photos (of the burger) looked luscious. 

I dropped Carlos off (at a strip mall, where he was going to eat Japanese food) and made my rather roundabout way to Flamez (in a different strip mall). One great thing about these kinds of places is that nobody cares if you're by yourself or with ten other people. The service is cheerful and efficient. The booths are comfortable, and Flamez has those increasingly rare small booths that are for two diners, instead of the four-only booths that newer restaurants put in only reluctantly (they take much more floor space than a regular table and chairs). 

There's four TVs turned to different sports, but the sound is turned off (except on important occasions, like the World Series or Super Bowl). The music is Boomer, ranging from retro Motown to the '80's Michael Jackson and a sprinkling of '90's Top 100.

I ordered the Jay-Jay burger, a combo of Swiss, bacon, sautéed onions and mushrooms. There's a wide choice of sides, and I chose coleslaw. To my surprise, the coleslaw had a creamy dressing but absolutely no vinegar in it. I haven't had a coleslaw dressing like this in many decades, probably not since I left the Midwest. 

The burger was, umm...juicy. Just the way you'd expect a sports bar burger to be, and that means it was pretty darn good. Nice proportion of (lightly salted) meat to bun; tasty Swiss, thin-sliced crispy bacon (two long slices, just right, which I tore in half), and the mushrooms and onions surprised me. I could quibble and say the white onion slices weren't really caramelized fully, but the onion itself was so mild, the light amount of sautéing was enough to soften the shreds sufficiently to take away the raw taste I don't care for. 

What surprised me was that the mushrooms were only lightly salted, and the onions weren't salted at all. This was great, because the patty, with its cheese and bacon, had enough salt to stand up to the bun and the various accompaniments, including fresh tomato, shredded lettuce, and mayo. The bun halves were also buttered and toasted, so if the mushroom/onion mix had been salted heavily, the sodium would have been much too noticeable. 

All in all, a perfectly respectable burger – yes, the bun stayed together through the meal, one of my de rigueur checkpoints for a good burger. Not a destination burger (of which there are very few), but better than expected and convenient when we're meeting our friends who live nearby. 

I got some of their beer-battered onion rings to go, for Carlos to munch on, and he was quite happy. They're good, not great, but can pass muster.

I also opted for a slice of pumpkin cheesecake and decaf coffee. The coffee was (again) decent, not great, but low acid so I had no need to adulterate it with cream and sugar. The pumpkin cheesecake turned out to be (surprise!) from Costco, according to the owner who was serving as the hostess, and it was quite good – graham cracker crust was thin, cheesecake not oversweetened, and the spices kept well within bounds. 

She said she'd bought a couple of them to try just for the hell of it, and I agreed with her it was worth it. Honestly, we've had a whole lot worse, including some expensive restaurants that you'd think would execute better than a massive warehouse chain, but don't. Talk about serendipity, LOL.

So in the end: no, Flamez is not a destination place. But you never know where your friends are going to move next, and a place nearby where you can get a decent meal without spending a small fortune is always worth finding. Often it's not about the five-star gourmet food experience, as it is about spending time with people you don't get to see often. I'm advising Carlos that next time he and his friend want to meet for lunch during the week, maybe she might be willing to drive a half-mile further east and check out Flamez instead.

Me, myself, and I, for lunch: one burger, one side (the onion rings cost as much as the burger!), one dessert, two beverages, with tip was a modest $35.